I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
