The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The struggles of a small town man whore
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
