i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
