"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So much Jack, so little girl.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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