My room smells like vodka and shame
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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