WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
