All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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