I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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