I didn't shave. On purpose
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
