No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
