I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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