Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
