i think i have herpe
just one?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
