Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
