ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
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Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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