I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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