Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
