shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
