we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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