I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my liver is dry heaving
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
