Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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