obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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