i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
