i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
