I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
