apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
