I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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