i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
