There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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