If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize