marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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