Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
