ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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