I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
