I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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