dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
