felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
