I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
