i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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