hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
