No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
