Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
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I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."