I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people