if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.