I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.