I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!