Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.