Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
