Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
