hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
