so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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