we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
