It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
