i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
