Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
