i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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