I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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