as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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