Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
is it fun? or sober?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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