Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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