Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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