cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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