I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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