Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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