are you so shy because you have an std?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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