So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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