but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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