You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
