when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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