i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
