he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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