He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
