I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my sisters under your porch take her home
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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