Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
