Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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